I am sure you have already heard this one, ‘Your type might be the reason that you are still single.’
It hurts when it refers to you but that is the truth. The worst part is when you look at your girlfriend with her type having her forever after moments and you wonder why the Universe is failing you yet you are better than she is.
This is what I tell any woman that is of my acquaintance. Every time, we sit down on Monday and for those who are abroad they will catch up on YouTube and we watch Nairobi diaries. They will say how those women are ratchet and no man in their right mind will ever settle down with such women and I give them a news flash. Just watch them getting married right before you with all that goodness you feel you are providing the world. Worst part is when you struggle with the jokers and this one who is getting dragged by the pool in her braids gets a husband. The point is that no matter how much you try to understand men, especially the Kenyan man, you will always fail. You just will never be able to.
Back to what I was talking about-types. I think there are no types, just people being confused about what they actually want when they eventually settle down. I was having a conversation with my mother and this is while we were watching something on the telly. So this light skin, good-looking brother comes on and he is with his fiancée. I point him out and I tell my mother, ‘…now that is the type of man that I will not marry. This handsome people who already know they are good-looking have a tendency to stress you. I do not need that kind of stress.’
So my mother turns to me and my mother is sort of vain I have realized and asks me, ‘So Shakila, utaenda tu kurokota mtu yoyote uniletee hapa?’(‘So Shakila you will just pick anybody and bring them here for me?)She is not the one even getting hitched to the man and she is complaining. And I looked at my mother and told her, I really don’t care how somebody looks as long as they are nice to me and they really have to be tall because I am sort of short but we are not doing light skin handsome men with better hair than I do have.’ She looked like she was in pain and it was that moment she realized that this was one of those things she cannot control-me!
Woman to woman, I will tell you that as you date and continue wasting your time, there are some things that have slowly been coming off the list.
You want a husband that can cook
He wants a woman that can cook. Who do you think is going to win when it comes to you being submissive especially if this man ticks all the right boxes? As woman we need to be realistic with ourselves. I will not lie to you and tell you to stand your ground when you have found a good man. When you do, think fast because when that lady from Nairobi diaries is done being whatever she is being on televisions and is intent on getting a good man for herself, she will faster than you. So you are there trying to quibble with a man about who will cook on particular days, he will leave you. He does not have to have you in his life because if he is good, there is a woman waiting on the sidelines. Then you will be left with the jokers to pick from.
What is more important? Looks or manners; choose one
‘He has to look like this and dress like this, then he has to be like this?’ Is he a handbag?
Let me educate you, pick one thing you can definitely not do without in the looks department, you will open your available pool of men with that gesture alone. The rest, give them a boot and look for things that are really important. I am not saying that people who are not-so-good looking do not have flaws but we will all agree that this people who are always being chased after have their problems lined up a notch higher. You do not need to be dealing with that drama every day of your life.
If someone is nice and good to you, what do you have to lose if they avoid heavy drinking and they try to work out?
The man must know what he is doing in the bedroom
If you will never speak, you will never get what you want in the bedroom. Experience is great but the real fact has always been someone who is open-minded to learn something from you as their partner. Some woman might have liked it rough and you don’t. Are you sure you want that experience?